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If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist.
— George Carlin, 1937–2008
On two occasions I have been asked, — “Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?” In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.
— Charles Babbage
Perfection is attained, not when no more can be added, but when no more can be removed.
— Antoine de Saint Exupéry, from Terre des Hommes
Hello, mortals.
I'm Darren Embry. I do computer programming for web sites, along with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, for a living.
Open Source Projects, Mostly Minor
I work on or have worked on a few small programming projects. Nothing big. They're all GPL- or LGPL- or MIT-licensed. Enjoy.
- rot13 app for webOS
- A webOS app that encrypts and decrypts text using rot13, a self-decrypting substitution cipher primarily used online to obfuscate spoilers, puzzle solutions, offensive text, etc.
- Poor Man’s Twitter Client
- A patch for webOS that adds simple Twitter functionality to the Messaging app when you send and/or receive Twitter updates via SMS.
- Universal Search Command Line
- A patch for webOS that provides additional sites for Universal Search, adds "dot commands", and adds additional capabilities to Universal Search such as adding notes to the Notes app (requires additional patch), restarting services, and turning GPS, etc. on/off. Available in Preware, the homebrew application and patch installer for webOS devices.
- Hide App Vendors
- A patch for webOS that dims applications from app vendors you specify (for spamming or other reasons) in the App Catalog app. Available in Preware.
- vtclock
- An easy-to-read ncurses clock for text-only terminals.
- tdu
- A text-mode disk usage visualization utility.
- js-gallery
- It's like Google Maps, only for image galleries.
- rpncalc
- An interactive reverse Polish notation calculator that's keyboard driven like it should be.
- Shared Calendars for OpenWebMail 2.10
- I did this for Moatware a long time ago.
For GNU Emacs
A collection of snippets of Emacs Lisp. I wrote them for GNU Emacs version 22. They may or may not work with XEmacs or earlier version of GNU emacs.
- custom-faces-file.el
- Allows one to split face customizations off into their own file.
- hide-mode-line.el
- Hides the mode line when there is only one window in a frame. Not yet ready for prime time.
- fix-horizontal-size
- A handy function that makes a frame (or window) 80 columns wide.
Other Stuff
- RFX Technologies employs me.
- I built a cubicle roof this one time.
- My rig for holding U-locks on a bicycle frame or its rear rack.
- Way back in 1994 I proved that pi is rational.
- I invented interactive web comedy.
- I also invented the imaginary page.
- I also have information on Why IHTML Sucks and Why PHP Sucks.
- 1961 Louisville Transit Company System Map
- Old Maps of Louisville
Stuff I Like
Because I like these things, you should consider them awesome. If they weren't awesome, I wouldn't like them.
- Bicycling
- Scrabble
- Thrift/Consignment/Surplus Stores
- Broken Sidewalk, a blog chronicling developments on real estate, bicycle and public transportation, and certain road projects in Louisville.
- Futoshiki ("unequal") puzzles
- Axolotls
- Something Awful
- Duct tape
- 97X
- Woot.com
- New Caledonian Crows — They will one day rule Earth.
- Louisville Mojo
- Radio Paradise
- Inconsolata
- Bacon
- Helvetica
- Dinosaur Comics
- Two-dollar bills
- The Daily WTF
- RISKS Digest
- Hummus
- Engadget
- Opossums
- Wikipedia
- Droid Sans Mono
- Press pot coffee
- AmazonMP3.com, where you can buy major-label music that's not polluted with DRM.
- WFPK
- Moleskines
- Heine Brothers’
- Lewis Black
- Idiot Toys
- Zombo
- Giant Isopods
- Idiot Toys
- Ramsi's
- W3 Schools
- Google Maps
- Arial
- Gizmodo
- AllofMP3.com
- Wolf Eels
- Bitstream Vera Sans Mono
- Pandora.com
Computer Stuff I Like
- Debian GNU/Linux, a distribution of the Linux operating system, GNU utilities, and other software.
- Perl, a programming language.
- Emacs, the be-all and end-all of text editors.
- Firefox, a web browser.
- Mutt, an email reader.
- Tiling window managers
- The Unix Philosophy, the correct software engineering ethos.
- Higher-order programming
- Mason, a web site development and delivery engine based on Perl. It's kind of sort of like PHP, but on steroids, and based on a programming language characterized by 98% less suck.
- irssi, an IRC client that doesn't have the arcane scripting language of ircII/epic or the retarded default behavior of BitchX.
- VisiBone — Their HTML and JavaScript reference cards put all the others to shame.
- TeX
- jQuery, a JavaScript library that makes AJAX and DOM manipulation a hell of a lot easier.
- Subversion, a version control system. It's not distributed, but it's good enough to replace CVS.
- JavaScript: The Definitive Guide and JavaScript: The Good Parts — All other JavaScript books suck.
Stuff That Is Fundamentally Wrong
This list has moved to a separate page.
It includes neoconservatives, Microsoft, and more.