Hello, mortals.

I'm Darren Embry. I do computer programming for web sites, along with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, for a living.

Minor Open Source Projects

I work on or have worked on a few small programming projects. Nothing big. They're all GPL- or LGPL-licensed. Enjoy.

vtclock
An easy-to-read ncurses clock for text-only terminals.
tdu
A text-mode disk usage visualization utility.
js-gallery
It's like Google Maps, only for image galleries.
rpncalc
An interactive reverse Polish notation calculator that's keyboard driven like it should be.
Shared Calendars for OpenWebMail 2.10
I did this for Moatware a long time ago.

For GNU Emacs

custom-faces-file.el
Allows one to split face customizations off into their own file.
hide-mode-line.el
Hides the mode line when there is only one window in a frame. Not yet ready for prime time.
fix-horizontal-size
A handy function that makes a frame (or window) 80 columns wide.

Stuff I Like

Stuff That Is Fundamentally Wrong

The list is back, and it's growing! As always, I don't have opinions on these matters; I'm making objective statements of fact here.

  • Neoconservatives
  • Microsoft, their products, and their philosophy about everything (fonts excluded)
  • Tailgating
  • Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease
  • Getting a rack with five Is in Scrabble
  • PHP
  • Changing lanes without signaling
  • The Religious Right
  • Milquetoast Democrats
  • Not waking up because you accidentally set your alarm for 7:30 p.m. instead of a.m.
  • The smell of malt vinegar
  • Digital Rights Restrictions Management
  • Diabetes
  • Clear Channel Communications
  • Devices that take SD cards, but only up to 2GB
  • Wearing shorts and tucking your shirt in (golf players excepted, whlie playing golf)
  • Bad analogies
  • Rain (except while I'm sleeping)
  • Snow
  • Tornadoes
  • Temperatures deviating from 72°F
  • The Java programming language
  • Monster Cable
  • How most people can't handwrite an ampersand
  • Shared hosting
  • Fluorescent lightbulbs that flicker
  • Colorblindness
  • The television show Club TV USA
  • Day-quil. That stuff makes me vomit, you see.
  • Wendy's "Honey Sauce". Are they too cheap to just use honey?
  • go daddy dot com
  • Products labeled "Made With Real Fruit Juice" that only contain 2% fruit juice
  • Lung cancer
  • Ticketmaster
  • The Hummer H2
  • The Hummer H3
  • The Cadillac Escalade
  • The Chrysler PT Cruiser
  • The Pontiac Aztek
  • The Buick Rendezvous
  • Southeast Christian Church
  • Littering
  • Talk radio callers
  • IT recruiters
  • Radio and most TV commercials
  • Mobile home parks within 10 miles of the city
  • Outsourcing computer programming to cheaper labor
  • Constantly referencing Monty Python and the Holy Grail or that "Spam" skit
  • The Recording Industry Association of America
  • How Louisville's #18 bus used to be always late
  • The Creation Museum
  • All sports talk radio, except for Jim Rome
  • When a half-gallon of milk costs $1.39 and a gallon costs more than $2.78
  • Dane Cook
  • Caffeine withdrawal headaches
  • Indiana's "In God We Trust" license plates
  • Links on web pages that don't have underlines and/or are too close to the same color as the text
  • IDEs and text editors that are not emacs or vi
  • Top-posting in emails and online discussions
  • Abstinence-only sex education
  • Web-based control panels
  • Elevators that don't ride smootly
  • The War On Drugs (busting meth labs is okay though)
  • When people put those removable letters on signs and mount the S upside-down
  • Slogans. Like. This.
  • Rubber dome keyboards
  • Products whose names contain "OS" but are not operating systems. See: WebSiteOS (a crappy web-based control panel), HTML/OS (a crappy programming language)
  • Sam Brownback
  • Splinters
  • Hypoglycemia
  • Homophobes
  • IHTML
  • Kenny G
  • Compacta
  • John Duncan
  • ColdFusion
  • Fox News Channel
  • The fact that Cherokee Unit No. 5 is no longer a municipality in Jefferson County, Kentucky. It was the best sixth-class city name, ever, you see.
  • Gambling that does not involve games of skill
  • People who find it perfectly acceptable to legislate against gambling that does not involve games of skill
  • The lyrics to "On The Roof Again" by Eve 6
  • People who hate Arial
  • Powdered non-dairy creamer, a/k/a beverage whitener
  • Panhandlers
  • The suburbs
  • XML as a panacea
  • 8664
  • That "Five Dollar Foot Long" song from the Subway commercials. That song needs to get out my head.
  • The notion that Terry Meiners is funny
  • 1024x768 web design
  • Ben Stein.
  • Florida.
  • Fn Lock
  • That overly perky female voice you hear on the grocery store intercom pimping products you don't need.
  • Simon Leis
  • Coinstar machines that don't have the "gift card with free coin counting" option.